Hello everyone, welcome to my story blog, e l l a - e n c h a n t e d. My name is Ella, some of you may know me from my other blog Art Angel. I am a Christian and a Filipino. I have a passion for all things Asian and a love for good food. My pastimes include reading, writing, watching, and learning new languages.
This site has been inspired by
Pheb's Story blog and is similar in set up. It's 3 major function is to p r o m o t e my fanfics, s h a r e ideas for new stories, and g a i n constructive criticism for my works. Once I've uploaded the majority of the links, I'm also planning to add another section, where original and innovative fanfics, posters, and trailers will be posted. Also, I would like to acknowledge
velvet-
sky for sharing this amazing blogskin! Thank you all for visiting and hope to see you guys again.
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Author: Ella (a.k.a. rgpponci)
Story Title: Saved By An Angel
Story URL: http://www.winglin.net/fanfic/rgpponci02
Reviewer: Darkess
*My reviews are not meant to harm or discourage the author, but to help them fix their stories and do better in the future. The opinions expressed in this review are mine and mine alone, and are not meant to offend you*
Appearance: 10/10
When I first saw it, I automatically wanted to read this story before all of the other ones that I have to read for reviews :P I loved the calm background colors, and the poster was absolutely beautiful.
Title: 5/5
I don't think this would really catch my eye on the winglin page, but the actual title fit the story and the contents perfectly.
Forewords: 8/10
I loved the Peter Pan quote in the beginning, and the questions that you put actually did get me thinking a lot. I know you said you weren't going to put in a synopsis, but I think that a little teaser would have been good so that readers could start wondering what would happen and be anticipating the story before it even really began. Also, the trailer was really good. Did you make it? I loved it :P
Character Development: 9/10
I think you added onto the characters and built them up brilliantly throughout the story. You built up on their emotions, but I agree with both you and the readers that Hiro seemed to be moving a little=2 0too quickly. At that time it said he had known her for a week? I think, and ... yeah I just find that awkward.
Creativity/Originality of Plot: 13/15
Dang your questions throughout the story got me thinking a lot. Like the is it selfish of them or us? Like dang it, she has a point XDD The epilogue quote was amazing, I loved the song choice (what song is it btw? I really want to know XD) and I think just the whole plot was very creative. I gasped when Yuri? I think was like thinking about her eye donor and how she didn't know. I was like IT WAS HIM! and I gasped, put my hand to my mouth, and started tearing up. That was really great and such a beautiful but depressing ending to the story. It did seem a lot like it had just come out of a drama though.
Writing Style: 13/15
oh my GOSH you made me tear up! how dare you! lol XD I loved you writing style. It was easy to read and understand, the shortness of the story and the perfectly lengthed chapters made me want to read it right away. You put tons of little details in the beginning, but once the story began to become longer and longer, those started to magically disappear T.T But! Besides that, you have a great way of portraying emotions and characters, and even settings :) the ocean looked beautiful in my mind XDDD OH! Also, I think you could have done without the quote after Hiro's letter. It kind of ruined the sad effect.
Flow: 10/15
The flashbacks got a little confusing, with the 3 months and the two months, so if there were any way to make that a little more clear, that's the only thing I can suggest.
Spelling/Grammar: 7/10
‘you don’t want Ryuu-kun to dump you because you’ve grown to fat. (chapter 1) it should be 'too fat'
When your father and I gone, (chapter 1) are gone
notes as the rest of the class rush madly out of the room. (chapter 1) rushed
please except this letter.’ (chapter 1) accept
No! I refused to die! (chapter 1) refuse
he didn’t had long to live. (chapter 3) he didn't have long to live.
while he was (chapter 3) While should have been capitalized
but that didn’t dampened his spirits. (chapter 3) dampen
other patients have experience and (chapter 3) experienced
notice the Erika had stopped (chapter 3) notice that Erika had stopped
‘Hiro-san, he knew he was going to died.’ (chapter 5) knew he was going to die
Overall Enjoyment: 10/10
I loved loved LOVED this story XD it was really heartwarming and nice and an overall excellent story. And it was humerous too. Like here. ‘The one you proposed to in kindergarten?’ pwah it's so funny XD and you made me tear up! Doesn't happen often, only with really good stories that I can get into. I20wanted to read more, but there wasn't anymore for me to read T.T
Total: 85/100
2:02 PM
